I'm sure I'm not alone here but, frankly, I'm pretty happy to see the end of 2023. I've spent the past several months mired in bullshit, dealing with lawyers and morons and, in one case, it seemed to be both of those things at the same time. There have been sleepless nights, a lot of anger, anxiety and stress. Rubbish year...
I find all your posts thought provoking, but jeezy this has hit me like a sledgehammer.
That negative, critical, person was my mother. I'm still struggling to come to terms with the lasting impact of her behaviour/attitude toward me and I'm now 57, but what has really hit me is how I find it so difficult to be positive about myself. That inner, negative, monologue is so loud and hard to override - almost like you're preparing yourself to underachieve in some way. What frustrates me more is that I haven't underachieved in any way, and I need a way to keep reminding myself of this!
I think this sentence is going to be my motto for the year though "Now, dust yourself off and take responsibility for how you feel rather than leaving your life and happiness in the hands of fate and wankers" and I thank you for that.
Thanks for my New Years Intention...."Start it how you wish to end it: content with yourself, even if you’re in the middle of a total shitshow." Nice.😎
Thank you - what an uplifting piece to read. I fear that I am often the negative one. But I can see that this would be off-putting and will try out your great suggestions..
My cultural highlights last year were the Groundhog Day musical, with its similar message of positivity - that we are here anyway and why not spend your life enjoying new things and helping people - it's much more fun that way.
Then my son mentioned that the film About Time has a similar message. I'd not seen it before, so gave it a go. Two-thirds in, I was thinking how rubbish it was but then at the end, Bill Nighy's character gives his son some advice on how to live a happier life. And it was so wonderful, so uplifting and clever that for months I would well up trying to describe it to loved ones. Thank you for giving me the chance to remember it just when I'm in the mood to change
A very dear friend says the people in the world can be divided into two: drains and radiators. Drains take away all the happiness, radiators bring it. Identify the radiators!
(She also says people's faces can be divided into two groups, horses or currant buns, but that's for another time. Though for starters, Wayne Rooney is a currant bun and Celine Dion is a horse. HTH.)
Wow. Similar experience to what Caroline G wrote. Grew up with abusive and neglectful parents (both physical and phycological - won the lottery there!). Somewhere around 12 I realized there was nothing wrong with me and my sibs, our parents were nuts! By mid-teens I began to actively train my mind to be different from them, to see the good in people first and to train myself to be happy. It takes a lot of work, just constant reminders to yourself and I'm lucky (at age 61) with a 40 year marriage to a man who has been super respectful of my independence & struggles in my younger days with my residual anger & self doubt. We can do it!...not sure, though, if we can do it alone. Family support definitely helps!
Wow, I recognise myself in your letter, being a rape victim for the first 17 years of my life by a family member and been shot, stabbed and battered by 2 ex-husbands your comments make a lot of sense to me I’m now 66 have 4 beautiful grown men as children, I’m finding it hard to recognise who I’m supposed to be, I find it difficult to make friends as I don’t know who to trust, so I’d rather be alone than go through anymore abuse but there’s times I’d like to just get out there, I m very grateful and thankful for what I have I’ve lived a very interesting life and wouldn’t change a thing, but I don’t have a lot of joy in my life anymore and your right its my fault I feel that way, it’s no one else’s, I do need to change the way I think of myself I do need to start thinking I am good enough and as you say it doesn’t matter what I say or the way I look,I can only speak my truth as I see it, I only have to please me and me alone, you’ve given me soooo much to think about, but you always do, Thank you for your honesty and sharing your truth, Congratulations on the 20 years of marriage what an achievement, congratulations on passing your degree another achievement you must be very proud and Happy New Year I hope you stay strong and achieve everything you wish for
I will start my new year in a different mind set, I will start watching to see who brings me down and how they make me feel and I will start finding that loving little girl who I used to be
and show her she was and is good enough to be the way she is today Thank You again for your loving caring wise words Pandorah from Qld Australia 💜🦉
My whole family has a tendency to reach straight for the negative. They don’t want to hear the good stuff. I’ve tried so hard to eradicate it, but the inclination is still there. I actually think I have a pretty embarrassingly lovely life and yet I still moan - and my family are always a bit disappointed if I can’t find something negative to say. God...I hope I’m not one of those friends that needs culling from people’s lives 😩.
I find all your posts thought provoking, but jeezy this has hit me like a sledgehammer.
That negative, critical, person was my mother. I'm still struggling to come to terms with the lasting impact of her behaviour/attitude toward me and I'm now 57, but what has really hit me is how I find it so difficult to be positive about myself. That inner, negative, monologue is so loud and hard to override - almost like you're preparing yourself to underachieve in some way. What frustrates me more is that I haven't underachieved in any way, and I need a way to keep reminding myself of this!
I think this sentence is going to be my motto for the year though "Now, dust yourself off and take responsibility for how you feel rather than leaving your life and happiness in the hands of fate and wankers" and I thank you for that.
I hope 2024 is kinder to you x
Gia your writing is always amazing and I’m happy to have read this article today to kick off 2024. Have a great new year!
If we have had problems when we are young with care givers ect it can lead us in to getting caught
up with people who lean towards narcissism which then can reinforce our negative view of ourself .
20 years well done .
I hope 2024 brings you all that you wish for .
I enjoy your articles.
Thanks for my New Years Intention...."Start it how you wish to end it: content with yourself, even if you’re in the middle of a total shitshow." Nice.😎
Thank you - what an uplifting piece to read. I fear that I am often the negative one. But I can see that this would be off-putting and will try out your great suggestions..
My cultural highlights last year were the Groundhog Day musical, with its similar message of positivity - that we are here anyway and why not spend your life enjoying new things and helping people - it's much more fun that way.
Then my son mentioned that the film About Time has a similar message. I'd not seen it before, so gave it a go. Two-thirds in, I was thinking how rubbish it was but then at the end, Bill Nighy's character gives his son some advice on how to live a happier life. And it was so wonderful, so uplifting and clever that for months I would well up trying to describe it to loved ones. Thank you for giving me the chance to remember it just when I'm in the mood to change
A very dear friend says the people in the world can be divided into two: drains and radiators. Drains take away all the happiness, radiators bring it. Identify the radiators!
(She also says people's faces can be divided into two groups, horses or currant buns, but that's for another time. Though for starters, Wayne Rooney is a currant bun and Celine Dion is a horse. HTH.)
Wow. Similar experience to what Caroline G wrote. Grew up with abusive and neglectful parents (both physical and phycological - won the lottery there!). Somewhere around 12 I realized there was nothing wrong with me and my sibs, our parents were nuts! By mid-teens I began to actively train my mind to be different from them, to see the good in people first and to train myself to be happy. It takes a lot of work, just constant reminders to yourself and I'm lucky (at age 61) with a 40 year marriage to a man who has been super respectful of my independence & struggles in my younger days with my residual anger & self doubt. We can do it!...not sure, though, if we can do it alone. Family support definitely helps!
Wow, I recognise myself in your letter, being a rape victim for the first 17 years of my life by a family member and been shot, stabbed and battered by 2 ex-husbands your comments make a lot of sense to me I’m now 66 have 4 beautiful grown men as children, I’m finding it hard to recognise who I’m supposed to be, I find it difficult to make friends as I don’t know who to trust, so I’d rather be alone than go through anymore abuse but there’s times I’d like to just get out there, I m very grateful and thankful for what I have I’ve lived a very interesting life and wouldn’t change a thing, but I don’t have a lot of joy in my life anymore and your right its my fault I feel that way, it’s no one else’s, I do need to change the way I think of myself I do need to start thinking I am good enough and as you say it doesn’t matter what I say or the way I look,I can only speak my truth as I see it, I only have to please me and me alone, you’ve given me soooo much to think about, but you always do, Thank you for your honesty and sharing your truth, Congratulations on the 20 years of marriage what an achievement, congratulations on passing your degree another achievement you must be very proud and Happy New Year I hope you stay strong and achieve everything you wish for
I will start my new year in a different mind set, I will start watching to see who brings me down and how they make me feel and I will start finding that loving little girl who I used to be
and show her she was and is good enough to be the way she is today Thank You again for your loving caring wise words Pandorah from Qld Australia 💜🦉
My whole family has a tendency to reach straight for the negative. They don’t want to hear the good stuff. I’ve tried so hard to eradicate it, but the inclination is still there. I actually think I have a pretty embarrassingly lovely life and yet I still moan - and my family are always a bit disappointed if I can’t find something negative to say. God...I hope I’m not one of those friends that needs culling from people’s lives 😩.