The Vegan Wars Analogy

It used to be that vegans argued amongst themselves about things like whether or not it was OK to eat honey... until a few years ago when people online started to talk about how sea cucumbers are vegetables. 'Sea cucumbers are cucumbers', they said. Liberal vegans started to talk about how they were a great source of protein for vegans. When 'proper' vegans told them they were wrong, that sea cucumbers were animals and were not at all appropriate food for vegans (and besides cucumbers are fruits) the liberal vegans went ballistic.

This is how the Vegan Wars started.

I'm a proper vegan. Old school. I've been a vegan for most of my life. I know what a vegetable is. EVERYONE knows what a vegetable is... humans have known the difference between plants and animals FOREVER, but for some reason liberal vegans have convinced themselves that sea cucumbers are a vegetable. I cannot understand it.

'They don't have a face!!!!!' they shout. 'THEY LOOK LIKE A CUCUMBER!!!!!' They scream. Well, I mean, they don't really look like cucumbers. I can see the resemblance sometimes...

... but most of the time not.

They are fundamentally different things. As a vegan not eating animals is a pretty fundamental thing. If you want to eat seafood, you are not a vegan, you are a pescatarian and, like, that’s fine… but it’s not a vegan. The people who eat sea cucumbers and call themselves vegans have convinced loads of non-vegans that this is what veganism actually is. It really REALLY annoys proper vegans.

But this war has raged on for years and loads of people have joined in, on both sides. My side - the vegans who understand the difference between plants and animals - have been joined by people who only seem to care about 'understanding the difference between plants and animals', yet they call themselves 'vegans'... even though they still eat animal products and wear leather and stuff. And if you point out that, I don't know, eating Jelly Babies is not a vegan act, so, you know, they aren't really vegans, THEY scream at you about how they "KNOW WHAT A VEGETABLE IS!!!!!"

Some of these people have started working with people from the Beef Industry - who obviously know the difference between a plant and an animal because EVERYONE knows the difference - and this is just terrible for vegans for a multitude of reasons... but... again if 'my side' points out that being a vegan means more than just knowing what a vegetable is and involves not eating animals or using or wearing animal products or byproducts, they go nuts and scream about how we are 'elitist' and 'snobby' or how 'veganism should be for everyone' (er... a vegan is someone who doesn't eat or wear animals or animal byproducts, that isn't what everyone does).

Anyway, the war continues. But there is a difference between plants and animals, the differences between plants and animals are clearly defined, you can’t just say that knowing and understanding the difference between plants and animals is veganism, you can't just call an animal 'a plant' and then say it's ok for a vegan to eat it, veganism is clearly defined. Words mean something. And it isn’t ‘snobby’ to point this out.

(Let’s all just watch and see who gets annoyed by this, shall we? - Gia)