22 Comments

My RELIEF at seeing it’s only about mattresses.

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Sep 20Liked by Gia

I did not enjoy the start of this article -please don’t do that to us again! 😂

I just stayed at a hotel and rather than two single duvets you got a double duvet each on a king bed and that was amazing!

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Sep 20Author

Oh wow!

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God you had me worried for a moment .

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Sep 20Liked by Gia

I first encountered the two duvets many years ago in Reykjavik and it’s such a simple and genius idea.

Living on my own and having the joy of a super king size bed all to myself, I haven’t had to consider the mattress situation but it sounds like such a great invention.

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This sound like great idea. I have just started with the hot flushes at night ( which due to BC can't have HRT), which means I'm cold one minute then boiling in the middle of the night, I don't know why I never thought about separate duvets. This is the way!

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Sep 20·edited Sep 20Author

Honestly, it is amazing. I wish I'd learned all of this YEARS ago... There are temperature control mattress toppers, too, that might help. I've been through a billion different pillows, too. They're either nice and cooling, but too high or too firm or too weird... In the end I got a wool pillow that isn't too high and keeps me cool at night.

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Ah that's interesting I just assumed all mattress toppers would make me hotter. I'll have a look what available, thank you

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There are some new non hormonal treatments for hot flashes just fyi ❤️

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Thanks! I've been offered and am going to try acupuncture on the ear. I'm a bit sceptical about it tbh but my consultant recommended it so 🤷. I need to keep up with the Vagenda, looks like there's lots of useful info in there. I keep meaning to get "The Menopause Manifesto" but when I became aware of it a couple of years ago the menopause seemed so far away. How things change!

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Sep 20Liked by Gia

We switched to separate duvets a few years back and it's been so helpful, especially as I like the weight of a heavy duvet even in the middle of summer and my husband prefers a lighter one (which he cocoons himself in)

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Sep 20Author

I wished I'd learned all this years back! It makes such a huge difference... Now one giant duvet seems weird to me!

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OMFG! Me and my wife have been going through this exact same thing. I was most amused to discover that, like me, Brian needs to be wrapped up like a cocoon whilst sleeping. My wife always jokes that I look like a swaddled baby. I also went through the "is this the end of our relationship" thing when separate sleeping arrangements have been mentioned.

I shall definitely be looking at the whole separate mattresses/duvet thing, especially knowing that it's very Scandinavian ;)

Anyway, very VERY glad to know that you two are still together... Albeit wrapped (or not wrapped) in individual duvets.

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Sep 20Author

The easiest (and cheapest!) option to start with is separate duvets. We've been sleeping so much better since we've done this and a huge amount of it is separate duvets...

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Anything that prevents 'sleep divorce' is ok with me.

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You nearly made me jump there!

We have two duvets too - game changer. Don't quite have separate mattresses, but the slat things on my side are different to his. Mine are softer and his are firmer.

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Sep 20Author

WHAT IS THIS SORCERY YOU SPEAK OF??

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I think we got it from IKEA? You can separately adjust the slats on each side to have more tension/firmness or less tension and more bounce. I would wake up with bruises if I had to sleep on Paul's rock hard side of the bed!

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Oh, clickbait! Shame on you giagia, I thought you were better than that!

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You clicked though! 😏 But seriously the idea of splitting up your bed (or even your bedrooms) is often seen as the first step to actually ending your relationship. The idea that EVERYTHING has to be shared- including the mattress- for a relationship to be strong and healthy might be setting people up for failure. You can be individuals- even overnight!- and still have a very strong partnership. We've found this has actually improved our relationship because we're sleeping LOADS better.

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My partner and I have had separate duvets for a few years now and it is a gamechanger. I get cold, he gets hot, and I can roll myself up in the duvet like a little burrito.

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wow you really fooled us, didn't you, my heart dropped off the planet, i love the idea of single mattresses and i love love your podcast, your so smart💜🦉

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